My Obese Summer Essay

The Big Three


2 responses to “My Obese Summer Essay

  1. Eric,

    I noticed a couple of issues with your essay. First, you don’t have an introduction and thesis that ties your whole essay together. Remember that thesis you wrote when you first began this project? That should be at the very beginning. The second issue I noticed was that you are missing words in your essay. Take the first paragraph of your second topic–you write “the second my summer” rather than “the second reason my summer.” If you read aloud, you will catch these errors.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s